Having a Sugar Daddy While Not Being a Gold Digger

In Chapter 6 of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Americanah, readers learn of Ifemelu’s aunt, Aunty Uju, who happens to be the mistress of a married man. Everyone in society knows Aunty Uju is sleeping with The General as it is common for men of high ranks to openly have mistresses, but The General’s family is mad and threatens to hurt Aunty Uju after The General dies, leaving her as a vulnerable target. Despite the fact that The General was cheating on his wife, I do condone having a “sugar daddy”–just not when the money provider is already in a committed relationship.

First and foremost, according to millennial pop culture, a sugar daddy is–typically–a man who pays or gives favors to a–typically–woman for her company (this does not imply but isn’t limited to sex). There’s a large stigma with sugar daddies and, to a lesser degree, sugar mamas, because people assume the girls are gold diggers.

The difference between having a sugar daddy and being a gold digger is that usually “gold digging” women are seen as deceptive, conniving, and insincere. Conversely, having a sugar daddy or being in a “sugar daddy relationship” is basically a transaction deal. Although, in both situations, the party providing the money probably has a very angry family. In these cases, it’s usually grown up sons and daughters who go into hysterics at the thought of having a 20-year-old stepmom that will suck them dry of their inheritances after she becomes a widow.

The stigma with girls who receive cash in the form of companionship stems from the fact that people who lived in racist 1950s still believe in the American Dream. To be quite frank, it’s hella hard to survive in a competitive capitalist economy like the U.S., ESPECIALLY if you’re a college student drowning in student loans–I may only be in eleventh grade but I’m still not looking forward to the day I trade my soul for a piece paper and ten years of monthly payments to my alma mater.

I can’t personally speak on having a sugar daddy, but it seems like an ideal “relationship” for people with financial struggles. According to multiple online news outlets, Candice Kashani, a law school graduate at Villanova, was able to become debt free with the help of a sugar daddy or two. That is a true life goal right there, my friends!

Anyways, people will debate if relying on others for money is morally correct, especially if that person is having sex with them. Honestly, integrity is overrated and traditionalists use it as leverage to make girls feel bad about their personal decisions. If you’d really feel bad about having sex for money, then don’t seek sugar daddy relationships, or work as a prostitute or an escort, but DO NOT judge others for their choices.

To be honest, if you’ve got it flaunt; people shouldn’t be ripping on girls in sugar daddy relationships when there are people who make their earnings as pornography historians.